In summer Boyfriend's best friend becomes Housemate. Housemate is many things, but one thing he definitey is not, is an outdoors man. On the day Housemate moves in, he is greeted by an unfamiliar sight in our driveway.
"There's a dead lizard in your driveway. It's really ugly and it's got no legs," Housemate informs us as he enters the house.
Boyfriend raises his eyebrows. We all go outside to investigate.
"That's not a lizard you idiot. It's a snake," Boyfriend tells him.
"Oh," Housemate says sheepishly. Then adds, "well the rabbits around here look like mutants."
Boyfriend raises his eyebrows again.
"They've got massive legs like they're on steroids. And their ears are really big and long," Housemate continues.
"That's because they're not rabbits, they're hares."
In winter it snows. On the second day, Boyfriend comes home from work. He finds Housemate in his room, curtains drawn, heater on full blast.
"It's been really cold," Housemate says.
"That's because it's been snowing for two days," Boyfriend informs him.
"Yeah right," Housemate laughs.
"I'm not kidding. Haven't you gone outside at all or even looked outside your window?" Boyfriend asks, parting the curtains.
"Holy shit!" Housemate says. "My car's all covered in snow."